First... let's get it out of the way... London is Jen-erally Awesome! I have been so excited to do this topic, my apologies for the delay.

There are 2 simple arguments for it's awesomeness to support my ruling:

1. The day life...

Well let's all face it, people come from all over the world to see the si)ghts and whenever there's a single doubt in my mind as to 'what to do today?' I always count on London being there in all it's awesomeness. Some of my favourite day time London fun is usually based around shopping, Camden, Oxford Street and the lanes around Covent Garden. Hidden in between all of the shops I could never afford are some gems, boutiques and quirky little nooks.

2. The night life... my favourite kind of life! There is never a dull moment in London. Ever. Sometimes there are nights that don't go so well, and if that were to happen you just walk out and find the next awesome place (usually within about 5 feet). And your reward for partying in London? Always meeting a wide range of people, from around the country, or even from around the world. I have never gone home from a night in London without a story.

I mean... London is so awesome that 100s of people have devoted their time to waxing lyrical about it... Streets of London (Ralph McTell) LDN (Lilly Allen) London Belongs to Me (St Etienne) London Calling (The Clash) London (The Smiths)... I could go on!

It was confirmed to me last year when the Royal Wedding Happened. I went into London to see what all the fuss was about. The night before there were people partying from all over the world. I walked around London with people sitting in the street talking, celebrating. Then the day of the Royal Wedding there was an atmosphere like no other I've seen before! I hate to say it but I was sooooo proud.

J is for... Joel Sparks (SHOCK!)

So what fun topic do I get this week? J... for Joel Sparks. If you haven't visited his blog yet go for it here... http://thesparksmaxim.blogspot.com/

So I did some digging around on the internet and couldn't find much to be honest - not helped by the fact that he told me he'd planted lies everywhere...

So I simply sat down and thought about what I knew about Joel. To be honest - not much! I realised that I don't remember where I met him, or when in my lifetime. I also realised that we've never hung out, got a burger, chatted on the phone. I remember one particular occasion of hanging out in the same vicinity, that was at my lovely cousin's wedding. I had no idea he knew them let alone the fact that he was the best man!!!

SO what do I know about Joel, and How do I know it? I know that he's a VERY funny guy (one of the funniest best man speeches). I know that he loves to blog. I know that he enjoys writing.I know that we have some favourite films. I know that he's my cousin's friend. That's it - this is definitely one of those hang my head in shame moments.

Let's face it though we all have friends like this, and the invention of Facebook means that we're accumulating more and more. We tend to have the odd cull every now and then and loose the ones who we only ever met in passing. I'm pleased to say that Mr Sparks quite often culls, and I have managed to continue to be his Facebook friend.

So here it is - Mr sparks - an apology!! I am terribly sorry that we are only Facebook friends - not actual!!! So next time you see me, come and say hi and I'll ask you a few 'So... what's your favourite colours?' so that in future I will be better prepared :)

H is for...Horror Movies...awesomely BAD!!!

SO...

I begged and pleaded with Joel Sparks (ok, well I asked once and he agreed) to give me something awesomely bad to blog about this week and he came up top trumps.

You see horror movies - a genre of film making that I find tedious and essentially terrifying has baffled me for a long time.

Why would you actually want to.. or even pay... to go and be scared out of your skin, not sleep for nights on end and need therapy. Don't get me wrong I am not a 'typical' girl. I don't like RomComs blah blah blah. I love action movies, to be honest a bit of blood and guts and a nice bit of weaponary makes for a good movie (think taken...law abiding citizen, drive) but when it comes to Horror films there are essentially 3 reason why I won't watch them...

1) I don't want to!!!

2) They scare me - I live alone and don't need to be kept up all night shaking under my duvet!

3) I DON'T WANT TO!!!!!

I shall let you know my limits. I once went to see sixth sense with my mum and some friends and almost pood my pants - the bit where the pegs come flying off the red tent... oh my days!!! Another example of my horror limits is the fact that I once saw a trailer for 'Hannibal Rising' and had a nightmare - yes based only on the trailer- for weeks!!! I remember being 13 and going to a pontins holiday weekend with Church - Pakefield for those of you who know lol .. and having a dorm room just me and my friend we decided we would stay up and watch friday the 13th. Now... I don't remember what happened in that film because my brain reverted to what I can only describe as some sort of post traumatic stress and hid those images from my mind forever.

It is an absolutely conundrum to me that people 'enjoy' horror films. If you yahoo your way through 'what ingredients make a good horror movie' these are the kind of answers people give

1)screaming

2)blood

3)a good, gory killing

4)suspense

5)a really freaky character

6)flesh cutting

7)things that make your stomach turn......

...you get the idea. I don't think these things are entertaining at all. And that is why I rule that Horror movies are indeed... Jen-erally Awesomely BAD!!!

F is for.... FRIDAY :-)

I'm finally happy with Joel's choice of word. Friday. The absolute most awesome day of the week. The verdict has already been made the evidence comes last... and merely to prove my point...

Unfortunately though, it's late in arriving; this week has seen me plagued by illness...but it's actually helped me think about my subject... You see I started to feel unwell on monday but had organised a might out with some good friends of mine. What began was a desperate plight to make my self well enough to enjoy my friday night -paracetamol (lots of them) -asthma pump (religiously) -vitamins (lots of orange juice) -early nights so-how did that turn out? Well seeing as I'm writing this in the waiting room of my local doctors sums up my efforts... what is it then that is so important about fridays? Well we work our socks off each weekday in the vain hope that if we do enough we can enjoy done reward, time off, a holiday, time to socialise. Fridays quite literally signal the end of the working week. when you leave in the dark of the morning and come home in the dark of the evening you jeered something to look forward to... Songs like ' thank god it's friday' ' last night' and 'friday friday' just emphasise the need to celebrate the end if the week and the beginning if the weekend. Friday itself is perfect for going out-you have saturday to reviver those aching feet and then sunday to feel absolutely rested. Lets face it saturday is far too close to monday to fully feel rested. But of course it's not all about going out on a friday...friday night at the cinema, friday night in with the family watching a film... It's awesome...come on mr sparks, give me something awesomely bad for h please....i need a good moan!

D is for.... Dumping...someone!

SO.... moving onwards and up the alphabet challenge, My good friend Mr Sparks and I have a 'relationship' themed blog-off this week; you can find his chemistry blog here...

My challenge this week... dumping and being dumped. I have no idea where to start to be honest as (in the interest of my 'awesome' themed blog) there is literally nothing awesome about being dumped so today we cover the best ways to dump someone.

Let's think about the line... there's always an 'it's not you it's me' line. You'd like to think that you're not that cliché but let's face it, it happens. Here are a few of my favourite one liners...

Answering machine: "Hi, I'm not home right now, If you're Jerry, hang up, if you are any other available male, press two now."

Text message: Dear Baby: Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: YOU

If I have to sell my body to get the money to divorce you, I will!

Remember when I asked you out?? Well.... I was talking to the guy behind you!

It's not you...it's me...well ok..it is you.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, sob, sob, I know what you did you ~*@#!!!! WAAAAAAAAAH! I hate you! Then you run away, (but it works best if he didn't do anything).

Send them your obituary.

I want a baby.

Look at my horoscope! "...a new love in your life..." Well, gotta follow my guiding star...

Forget bothering with actually dumping him/her, just sign up to the witness protection program and never speak to them again.

How have I done it? Well there's been text message, phone calls, crowded restaurants, getting friends to tell them, but - after being with my ex for 7 years it was simple and finding out he'd been unfaithful - Punch them in the nose and throw them out. Yep... I actually did that. I feel quite proud to be honest. That people is awesome. Case Closed. Next.....

B is for.... Bouncy Castles

So for those of you already in the know, a friend of mine - Mr Joel Sparks - is a master blogger and I decided it was time try my hand at it. Let's face it, I have plenty to say on just about everything. Looking for inspiration I suggested an alphabet challenge - taking alternate letters. Mr Sparks then upped the ante by suggesting we each choose each other's words. I chose Aboulia... it's a good read partly I'm sure to the fact that it's such an interesting word! He chose Bouncy Castles!!!!!!

WIKI FACT!!!!

The first inflatable structure was designed in 1959 by John Scurlock in Shreveport, Louisiana who was experimenting with inflatable covers for tennis courts when he noticed his employees enjoyed jumping on the covers. He was a mechanical engineer and liked physics. John was a pioneer of inflatable domes, inflatable tents, inflatable signs and his greatest achievement was the invention of the safety air cushion that is used by fire and rescue departments to catch people jumping from buildings or heights.

In the spirit of my newly founded and appropriately named blog I shall have to weigh up the awesome and the awesomely bad about... BOUNCY CASTLES!

Awesome

Where do I begin. Well firstly with the fact that bouncy castles are designed for kids. PAH!! The bouncy castle was clearly invented by someone's dad who was trying to think of something that looks appealing to kids but was secretly one giant challenge for men! A highlight of my nephew's first birthday was watching my brother and his friends challenge each other to a game of 'who can run and jump over the castle wall and land inside'... or as I call it 'the idiot game'.

But the most awesome thing about bouncy castles is... you're all thinking it... knocking everyone down and then bouncing as hard as you can to keep them there. Let's face it who hasn't seen someone upside down, skirt over their head trying to get up like a beetle on it's back... hi - frikkin - larious!!!

Awesomely bad

To balance out the awesome to awesomely bad equilibrium...

Let's face it the worst thing about a bouncy castle is the fact that it never gets cleaned. Never. Think about that next time you face plant on to the middle of one. Children. Nappies. NEVER CLEANED... enough said!

Finally... did you know that over 4000 people per year end up in hospital with bouncy castle related injuries? And 7% of them die!!!! Those soft, bouncy, child loving & colourful castles are in fact DEATH TRAPS!

IN CONCLUSION

I hereby declare bouncy castles... AWESOME!!